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Blog

Things to consider before getting married

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Allah said “And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who reflect.” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21) Marriage is one of the most significant commitments a person may make in their lifetime. This union has the most profound impact on a person’s life, shaping them in ways beyond imagination. It is a contract between two individuals who choose to spend their lives together, enhancing their quality of life and transforming their manner of existence. Before getting married, one must be well-informed about all aspects of marriage and carefully consider the decision. Every secret part of a person's existence, even those they may not be consciously aware of, is often exposed at marriages. Finding the right partner to share your life with is crucial, as marriage involves not only embracing each other as individuals but also accepting their beliefs, values, and family as part of our own life.  Here are some essential things to consider before getting married ( in generally) : Understanding Each Other’s Values - A strong marriage requires that both partners understand one other's values since       compatibility is fostered by common views on family, money, religion, and life goals. In order to maintain peace, disputes can be resolved via open conversation and respect for one another. A long-lasting and satisfying relationship is strengthened when underlying principles are aligned. Emotional and Mental Preparedness - Entering a marriage requires emotional maturity and a willingness to support each other in tough times.  Communication and Conflict Resolution - Open and honest communication, along with the ability to resolve conflicts effectively, is key to a successful marriage.  Expectations and Responsibilities - Clarifying roles, expectations, and responsibilities within the marriage can prevent misunderstandings later. Cultural and Family Dynamics - Understanding and respecting each other’s cultural and familial backgrounds helps in building a strong foundation. So, the essential things that have to maintain for considering before getting married:   For Males:  Financial Readiness - Financials readiness is crucial for men before marriage, ensuring stable income, wise expense management, and future financial planning. Open discussions with the partner about financial expectations, savings, and investments help avoid conflicts. Managing debts, securing insurance, and planning for long-term goals ensure a secure and stress-free married life.   Emotional Maturity – Be prepared to handle responsibilities, conflicts, and emotional challenges in marriage.  Career Stability – Have a clear career path and financial goals to provide a stable life for the family.   Understanding Partner’s Expectations – Discuss roles, responsibilities, and life goals to avoid future misunderstandings.   Commitment & Loyalty – Be ready for lifelong commitment, mutual respect, and emotional support.   Family Responsibilities – Understand and accept the duties of a husband, son, and future father.   Communication Skills – Develop healthy communication habits to resolve conflicts effectively. For Females:   Emotional Readiness – Ensure emotional stability and the ability to handle marital responsibilities.    Understanding Shared Responsibilities – Be clear about roles in marriage, including career, family, and household management.   Family Adaptability – Be prepared to adjust to a new family environment and build strong relationships.   Health & Well-being – Maintain personal well-being to contribute positively to the marriage.   Effective Communication – Develop the ability to express feelings, needs, and concerns openly.   Long-term Compatibility – Ensure shared values, beliefs, and life goals for a successful partnership. What should be the qualities of an ideal life partner?  A successful marriage is not about finding a perfect partner but about being patient and working together to build a beautiful bond. Through Sabr, love deepens, respect strengthens, and a couple moves closer to achieving tranquility (Sakinah) in their relationship. Imaan: A strong marriage is built upon faith in Allah (SWT). When both partners prioritize their Imaan, they seek Allah’s guidance in their relationship, ensuring their love is based on sincerity, respect, and righteousness. A marriage grounded in faith leads to peace and blessings.  Ilm: Seeking knowledge is essential in marriage. Understanding the rights and responsibilities of spouses, learning about patience, and acquiring wisdom in resolving conflicts can help build a strong foundation. Islam encourages both men and women to pursue knowledge for a successful and fulfilling life together. Allah said, "Say, Are those who know equal to those who do not know?" (Surah Az-Zumar 39:9) Sabr: Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'an:  "And be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient." (Surah Al-Anfal 8:46) In marriage, patience is needed in understanding differences, handling difficult situations and nurturing a peaceful home. No two people are the same and adapting to each other requires time, effort, and unwavering patience. The Prophet Muhammad emphasized kindness and patience in marriage, reminding us that spouses should treat each other with love and mercy. When disagreements arise, practicing Sabr helps in resolving conflicts with wisdom rather than anger. Akhlaque: Good character (Akhlaq) is the foundation of a successful and lasting marriage. It reflects a person’s true nature and determines how they treat their spouse in moments of love, disagreement, and hardship. In Islam, a strong marriage is not just about love, but also about patience, kindness, and respect.  The Prophet Muhammad was the best example of good character in marriage. He treated his wives with love, respect, and gentleness, even in difficult times. He advised:  "The most perfect of believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives." (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162) Key Aspects of Akhlaq in Marriage:   Kindness & Gentleness: A spouse should be a source of comfort and ease. Harsh words and disrespect harm the relationship, while kind speech nurtures love.   Forgiveness & Patience: No one is perfect. A successful marriage requires patience and the ability to forgive.The Prophet never retaliated against personal offenses but responded with patience and understanding.   Honesty & Trust: Truthfulness strengthens the bond between spouses. Trust is fragile—once broken, it is difficult to rebuild. Honesty and transparency help prevent misunderstandings.  Respect & Appreciation: Every individual deserves respect, regardless of gender. Acknowledging and appreciating each other’s efforts brings barakah (blessings) into the marriage.   Avoiding Harshness & Anger: Anger can destroy relationships. Controlling one’s temper and responding calmly preserves peace in the home. The Prophet said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles others, but the one who controls himself when he is angry." (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114) Shukr: Expressing gratitude for one another nurtures love and contentment in marriage. Recognizing and appreciating your spouse’s efforts, no matter how small, brings barakah (blessings) into the relationship.  Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires careful consideration and preparation from both partners. Financial stability, emotional maturity, shared values, and open communication play crucial roles in building a strong foundation. Understanding each other's expectations, responsibilities, and long-term goals ensures a harmonious and fulfilling relationship. A successful marriage is not just about love but also about mutual respect, adaptability, and teamwork. By addressing these key aspects before marriage, couples can create a stable and happy future together.

15 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

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Marriage is a necessary part of our life. In Bangladesh, most of the marriages are arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by individuals, particularly by family members, such as the parents. The bliss of conjugal life can fully be enjoyed only if you understand your partner properly. In this blog, we are going to discuss 15 questions to ask your future partner before getting married if you want to avoid conflict and enjoy this new journey. Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices? Understanding and respect are two important part of any relationship. Even if they have disagreements they need to have understanding and respect for each other. Suppose the wife wanted to admit their kid in Bengali medium and the husband wanted English Medium. Without screaming at each other, they need to sit down and talk about the benefits of each type of school and the reason they want to choose that particular medium. How will they take decisions together The to be couples will start to make decisions from the beginning. What to buy for a relative, what to do with their income, what will happen if both of them become jobless and so on are the decisions they need to take together. The would-be couples should discuss it before getting married. How will they handle conflict? No matter how much you love your partner you will have disagreements as you both will hold onto your own beliefs. It’s quite normal and healthy. Physical aggression, hurting each other's feelings, saying things that will lower their self-esteem are not acceptable. Having arguments without hurting the other’s feelings is one of the keys to having a successful marriage. So before committing to each other ask your partner what happens when you two have an argument or dispute on each other. Are they quick to forgive and good at apologizing Disagreements are pretty normal for a couple. However, if they hold a grudge, this will wreak havoc on their relationship. Healthy relationships are those who could forget their past and move forward with their present. So they need to ask questions about it and observe if they are quick to apologize and forgive. What would be the categories of expense? The newlywed couple begins a new journey without the dependency on their parents. They have to figure out how they are going to manage their expense and what would be the categories they are going to spend money on before this life-changing event. What are their financial goals Before tying the knot, they have to figure out how they are going to use their income, how much they can save and what would they do with that savings. It will be beneficial to have a healthy and smooth marital life. How do they feel about debt The living expense is getting higher day by day. A situation may arise where they couldn’t continue only with their income so they have to search for an alternate way which is debt. A couple should discuss before what they would do if such situation arises and what do they feel about debt. How many kids do they want To be husband and wife needs to have a serious conversation if they want to have kids. If both aren’t on the same page, it may cause stress on their marital life. One should not involve in a relationship thinking that the person will change his mind about having kids if they clearly said this is something that they don’t want to do. When one person decides to have kids and the other person didn’t can be a source of heated argument. What values they should teach their children After being on the same page about having kids, they have to decide how they want to raise their kid and what values they want to teach their kids. When a couple decides to have a kid, it will either bring them closer or further apart. The values are mainly influenced by the way both were brought up. The to be coupled need to be on the same page so ask a lot of questions and be clear on how you want to raise the kids. It will ensure that you are thinking similarly. How will they handle a parental decision Being a parent means they always have to be there for their child. Sometimes the child may become stubborn or takes a bad decision, parents should handle them together with care and try to understand why they are thinking about it and listen to their reason. They should make their child understand why that is a bad idea and what would be its disadvantage. The couple won’t be able to do that on the spot so they should discuss this matter before marriage, otherwise conflict may arise. How involved do they want their parents in their parenting Grandparents play an important part in a child’s life. How much they want grandparents to be involved in their child’s life and a parental decision should be discussed before the marriage to avoid such conflict during their marital life. How will they share their household chores & responsibilities Nowadays the concept that women should take care of her house and do all the household chores is fading. Women are becoming more independent. Now husband and wife manage the house together. So it should be discussed before the marriage how they will share the responsibilities and household chores. Do they need some time alone The couple may become so engulfed in their marital life, they will not have any time for themselves. They may become depressed and irritated with life. So it should be discussed before if they need some time for themselves and how much do they need. How they should share quality time with both families A marriage doesn’t only connect two people but also two families. A couple should spend some quality time with two families and have a good relationship with them. They should discuss before how much time they will spend with each family. What excites them about getting married Getting married is an exciting new phase of life. But you need to make sure that you are getting married for the right reasons and both of you are prepared for it. Marriage is a combination of lots of responsibilities. If you are only tying the knot because of family pressure or your friends are getting married there is a low chance of having a happy married life. Everything must have a reason. So, make sure your future partner and you are getting married willingly.   There are so many other questions that should be asked before getting married. These questions will help to avoid conflict and know your life partner a little bit more.
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